In my last day of class this week we talked about things that are in our Feminist Tool kits. A Feminist Theory class in case you are wondering. A class i enjoyed. As we sat around a feminist table and discussed what tools we have to enable us fight for equity music came up quite often. Not for me though. i will tell you about my toolkit some other time. Today let’s talk music.

i must admit i am not your typical musical person. i like my music selectively and so i always find it hard to answer people when they meet me for the first time and ask: what’s your favourite kind of music? Uuum…uuum. Many reasons for that. However, despite this i have music that always takes me back to a specific time in my life. Why don’t you grab yourself a coffee and headphones and i will tell you about music and times of my life.

I look to you by Whitney Houston takes me back to when i spent a few years in Antalya trying to learn Turkish and failing miserably. A friend actually introduced this song to me as she used to play it during breaks. Lifted our spirits some. If we didn’t have a good tongue foe Turkish we had Whitney to sooth our ears in between lessons. Those were pretty difficult times and so every time i play this song a wave of melancholy engulfs me.

How will I know by Whitney Houston reminds me of a love that could have been many years ago. No this is not our-song-kinda-song. It is just some music i used to play a lot at a time when one of my old uni friends was into the idea of being more than friends. And i didn’t even know that is what he felt until years later. That i just happened to be playing this song a lot then was just pure coincidence, or was it?

Adele’s Someone like You brings me a warm feeling. The taste of honey. Anytime i play this song i am back home. it is 2012. it is only a year before i leave and everything changes. i am surrounded by family. People i love and who love me. We are gathering around warm delectable meals, laughing and joking around. There is a timelessness in the air. We could be here for the next hundred years and nothing will change. But that’s not how life works, is it?

You Said by Sara Mitaru absolutely breaks my little heart. This reminds me of unrequited love. i am loving someone and they are loving me, at least i think they are. But every now and then they would go off grid on me. Of course then we didn’t have WhatsApp; it would have been worse. Anyway, that was the first time i ever opened up my heart to someone and that is also the first time i tasted the bitter taste of heart break. A physical pain that moves from your heart to your body to your soul to your being. Dark.

Tasha Cobbs Fill Me Up reminds me of when i made a strong resolve to never do anything that i don’t want to do.  When i gave myself permission to say no. i heard it in a friend’s car and i went home and looked it up. A good gospel number.

I end with Dunyayi Durduran by Cigdem Erken. A song that has the promise of tomorrow. A song that asks for the world to stop now and start again next year. That is how i felt in Antalya when i thought i couldn’t take it anymore. It is sad but also hopeful. There is nothing as uplifting as the promise of tomorrow.

Music and the times of my life. i still have more songs for next time 🙂

Until next week.




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