we have had silence. we have sat down and communed in silence. the way old lovers come to enjoy silence. in perfect communion. i can call those days back. when we had everything including the silence of lovers. days are empty now. all we have, you and i, is silence. i am having trouble with this silence. not that i haven’t made peace with it. but how do i sit in this silence knowing you are out there. knowing there are things you need to tell me and me you. and yet accepting with a cold finality that all we have now is this silence.
How is it possible. We were once nurtured by the same river. Now i don’t know you. And you don’t know me. What have we done Robin?
No. That book is not being written. You have said no. i am learning to live with it. Most mornings i wake up thinking who is this person. Me. Where am i descended from. You have said no.
Happy New Year Folks!
Thought i should start this year reflecting on the books that i loved last year. This is, quite frankly, a very hard list to come up with. i enjoyed all the books that i read last year. Have to admit though i still haven’t finished Murakami’s 1Q84. Maybe this year.
In no particular order here are my 5 of 2017:
- God Help the Child
- Letters to Milena
- The Help
- The Lost Wife
- Milk & Honey
What are some of the reads that you are looking into reading this year? I am starting the year off with Helen Oyeyemi’s Mr. Fox. i will let you know how i like it.
Wishing you nothing but the absolute best as you live your best days this year.
Alice Walker. Finally got my hands on the Colour Purple. i know what you are thinking…yes it’s taken me ages to get this read but i finally did and i am loving it.
Books. Went book crazy this year and collected loads of them. My TBR list is staring at me right now as i write this.
Captain. Chief finally made captain. Such a great feeling seeing people i love make such progress in life. Good stuff.
Driving Licence. Yup, only now learning how to drive.
Empty. Feeling less and less empty now. To think there were days that i ran on empty. What sadness.
Foods. Totally lost my way in the kitchen. Can’t cook for shit now. How’d this happen?
Gratitude. Always grateful for e’thing.
Home. “don’t spend your life searching for a place to call home. Make the bones in your skeleton the only structure you need”
Impressionism. That’s right! i am in art school now. Haha, not really. But i am loving discovering and learning all about art from Expressionism to Fauvism to Abstraction.
Japan. Turns out 2017 is not the year that takes us to Kyoto. 2018, you down?
Kyoto: i will see you soon.
Love. Webb & Robin, it is now eleven months, two days and three hours since we last spoke.
Masters. Finished the MA guys. And like a nutter went right back.
Nyairoko. “A place so central to my memories was so unfamiliar.”
Origin. How -who- can we be if we do not know where we are descended from?
Possibilities. We start from a point of possibilities. Think about it. Right now everything you ever wanted to be is possible.
Quiet. Stop. Sit still. Breath the silence. Stop.
Risk. Dreaming (again) grand dreams and having a plan.
Self care. Only now learning the import of taking breaks and sitting in silence.
Time. Amazing how time just flies by these days. When we were kids one year felt like five years and now before you know it December sneaks up on you.
Universe. The universe coming together to tend you and your dreams. What magic!
Vancouver. This has to be the best trip i did this year. Still dreaming of all the foods and wine.
Wine. Always have a bottle of wine for the days coffee doesn’t work and the heart is heavy… or for the day you have a story with a deadline.
X. Do you know the painting Madame X by John Singer Sargent? Story around it is quite something.
Yes. Say yes to all the great vibes. But also learn to say no when you sense negative vibrations.
Zeal. Here is to hoping we are stepping into 2018 with all the zeal for life that we can master. Let’s make it epic.
To another great year,
Finally. At the start of this year i decided i wanted to get a tattoo. As the months flew by i just couldn’t get the time. No, really. i was a bit nervous of course given that it’s my first tat. But also i had to make sure i got a good tattoo artist and you know with tattoos you have to be pretty careful.
Then it happened. My buddy S recommended this tattoo shop and i went checked it out and liked what i saw. Hooligan Custom Tattoo on Duckworth St. Pretty nice folks, clean place and good people that gave me all the good vibes. i was sold, obviously. Didn’t hurt that S was also getting hers done at the same time with me.
On the day i walked in confidently. Like a ninja. Haha. No. i was nervous AF. But S assured me i’ll be just fine. Don the artist was also super cool about it. We tried different fonts and when i had one that i liked Don got to work. i have to admit it wasn’t as painful as i thought it’d be. Tiny bit of pain at the start but then i was good all through. Lasted under ten minutes. Didn’t even know it’d be that fast. Walked out of Hooligans vibrating higher and planning my next tat.
Thanks Don. A legend!
What more could i want. You say to me. And i think have you lost your mind. i have lost every part of me to get here. Strange that you were here all along and haven’t seen how broken i -we- have become.